While reading a book by a leading psychiatry professor, I stumbled across a statement that blew me away with its Gospel significance:
“It’s the relationship that heals, the relationship that heals, the relationship that heals—my professional rosary. I say that often to students. And say other things as well, about the way to relate to a patient—positive unconditional regard, nonjudgmental acceptance, authentic engagement, empathetic understanding.”[1]
Here it is again, another unmistakable fingerprint of Christ in this world. Psychiatrists are increasingly realizing and teaching what God has been telling us all along: We were made for relationships, and only through relationships do we find healing for our souls.
The author is specifically highlighting the effectiveness of a loving relationship between therapist and patient. He has found that connection to be—more than any wise words spoken—the real means of help and change in the lives of his counselees. I couldn’t agree more. The one thing I would add—and this is huge—is the Gospel implications for such thinking. By calling for healing relationships characterized by unconditional regard, non-judgmental acceptance, authentic engagement, and empathetic understanding, the author cries out for the Gospel.
The Gospel tells us that our root problem is relational and God’s solution is relational. The problem is that we have all abandoned relationship with God and perverted our relationships with others. We have violated the greatest commandments and have not loved Him with heart, soul, and mind; nor have we loved our neighbor as ourselves. That is the true source of what ails us. The solution is God sending His Son to live and die in our place and to restore the relationships we wrecked. While we were running away from Him in rebellious hate, He ran toward us with redemptive love.
God offers us the most healing relationship of all, which truly is the basis for any relational healing experienced among us down here. By sending His Son into this world, He has provided the greatest therapist of all, the Wonderful Counselor, who knows us entirely and loves us perfectly. Jesus doesn’t simply give us information; He offers us Himself, His sympathy, His pardon, and His unconditional acceptance. The friend of sinners gets close and refuses to reject us no matter what disturbing thing He sees within us. The Great Physician mercifully applies the balm of His grace to every wound left by sin.
It’s the relationship that heals!
Not only does this give us reason to rejoice with thankfulness before our God, it also sets the tone for the relationships we have with others. The church especially was created by God to be a place of healing fellowship, a place where broken sinners can share together the love and safety we have with Him.
It ain’t perfect, of course. The old flesh still rears its ugly head—all too often—and relationships suffer in church-land like everywhere else. But in the brilliant design of God, even these pitfalls bring us deeper into the Gospel. As we bang into one another, like rocks in a tumbler, God pours the water of His grace into us and around us, and engenders true love between us, polishing off our rough edges.
We can make church about a whole lot of other things: political activism, social activities, sensational entertainment, intellectual stimulation, church-growth hype, etc. But, it’s the relationships that heal, our relationship with God and our relationships with one another. That’s what we all need, and that’s what God has provided. That’s why He said, “Love others as I have loved you.”
It’s the relationship that heals.
[1] Love’s Executioner, Dr. Irvin D. Yalom, p. 112